Different blog post this time, but I’m still getting used to writing so bear with!
One thing that has really hit home for me recently is pressure: I’m talking specifically social pressure. It might be the new Bohemian Rhapsody film that’s done it (title inspiration, obviously), but I’m feeling the pinch now more than ever to have an interesting life. I’ve talked about the impact of social media before, and at the risk of banging on about it even more, I want to comment on this pressure as well as others that we have to deal with every day.
We’re surrounded all day every day by apps showing us, essentially interesting things that people have done or places they’ve visited, or what they wear or who they socialise with. All of this is designed to attract attention and show the fun aspects of your life, and we all do it. Punny captions (I’m guilty of this), ring-lights used to show off make-up, exciting places we’ve been such as tropical holidays and city breaks are all displayed on our profiles to attract likes, followers, attention and ultimately self-validation, that can become obsessive and damaging to mental health. Apps designed to increase social networking actually often encourage loneliness, and its alarming how much a life can be manipulated on social media to only show the apparent highlights, rather than the lows, of everyday life, and this is something that I’ve become more aware of recently through meeting a wide spectrum of people at uni.
It’s not just social media though that’s the problem. I’m very conscious that I’m starting to sound like a broken record on this subject, but I’ve become increasingly aware of my own social media presence and how much I want to post, and why. These pressures, though, also exist in real life as well as in a virtual sense. University is something that I’ve had to adapt to and am still adjusting to if I’m being honest, and I’m also mindful of the pressures of everyday academic work, a part-time job, cooking and cleaning and checking in with people around me. I can go days just going to uni and back, seeing my flatmates, who are my closest friends yes, but seeing no one else and generally feeling a bit monotonous, but sometimes it’s necessary to strip it all back and focus on one thing at a time, without overwhelming yourself. I’ve found moving into second year at uni that actually we’ve been going out less and probably working harder as a result – I mean this is probably to be expected in second year, thinking about it… But nevertheless, I can think of nothing better, especially in winter, than curling up watching TV or with a book in a blanket on the sofa, and I’m not ashamed of this. Balance is key, and something that I’ve really come to appreciate, which gives a bit of release from this idea of being interesting all the time. It’s exhausting!
Organising to meet up with people when we all have busy schedules is also something that I find difficult, as it often becomes less of a priority and other everyday tasks appear more important. I’m so glad when I meet up with people I don’t see so often and feel much better after a good old chat, and it’s something that I really appreciate, but often it’s difficult when timetables don’t match up. I’m ever aware of this with my closest friends from home as we all live as far apart as we can get from each other, from Edinburgh to Exeter to Brighton and in between, and I’ve come to accept that it’s so difficult to meet up that I look forward to seeing them even more when we’re all home during the holidays. But obviously when people around me have friends visiting, are visiting friends at other unis, are going to visit cities and explore and essentially seem to have lives more exciting than mine, surely I’m going to introduce comparisons?
The bottom line is we’re all guilty of comparing to other individuals. Should we be shamed for this? No. Should we be aware of it? That would be a good idea. I’ve definitely progressed from my outlook on life a year or two ago, where I used to think ‘is this funny enough, am I funny enough?, is this pretty enough?’ etc. before posting a photo, and this is a good thing, but enough is enough (pun!). I’m going to make a conscious effort to care less about being ‘interesting’ and ‘exciting’ and instead a) portray the real me and b) care less about the attention and more about documenting what I’ve done to look back on, even the small things. Looking back, I’ll be more proud of myself seeing an imperfect photo of myself that shows that I’ve had a good time, or something that doesn’t appear interesting but I personally like. Self-care is something that has arguably been talked about a lot recently but it’s important, and sometimes you do have to prioritise number one: yourself.
Look after yourself and the rest will become easier,
Love, Rosie xx (conscious as well that this is a film – it’s not deliberate, or is it..)
Love Rosie B 